The Sohai at my Workplace!!!

Well, I love my cubicle at my workplace. It's cosy, air-cond damn cold, very secluded and hidden from anyone spying on me when I'm doing some "non-work" related stuff. My computer also quite canggih one, but the only drawback is tarak sound one la. Why no sound? Cos my sohai boss don't like people to listen to music during work time! Zzzz.... It doesn't bother me cos i got my trustworthy Ipod with me :p

Normally at work I'm a very nice person one. I don't scold or curse people one. But, got 1 bugger really piss me off, EVERYDAY!!! Let me tell you about this sohai!

This jackass hor, let's just call him JL la, is a chinese, graduated from Australia. I heard he stayed in Australia for 5 years before coming back to Malaysia. Well, he is my senior as he work 2 years earlier than me. Btw, this guy is a Foochow. Those of you who know me well will surely know that I'm very sceptical about Foochows. They give me bad impression! Hahaha, sorry, no offence to any foochow readers ya.

Ok, this JL hor, when he reach his cubicle which is only next to mine, he love to throw his bag, keys and whatever shit he is bringing on his table with a loud bang. This really pisses me off every morning. Knn, chit cha pek cha oredi cha si nang (early morning oredi bother people)! Diu la!!!!

I just tahan only. Next, this sohai is not fat. He looks very fit. But, he loves to FART!!!!! Pam Pui!!!! Knn la, fart fart fart early morning and throughout the whole day non stop pam pui. Walau eh, dunno what shit this sohai is eating everyday. Humans have a natural instinct to avoid smelling when people fart. And being the normal guy that I am, I cover my nose la. Well, after the coast is clear, this asshole farts again! Niabeh la, kah cheng kang condemn hia (asshole condemn)!!! Really piss me off each time this sohai fart, so sometimes bo pien I have to move away to a safer place la like the pantry room or the conference room.

Next crime, this sohai has the same rank as me. Well, in my office, there's only 2 ranks nia. Tauke and kuli only. So we are both kuli. I hate it when people bully the weak. This sohai likes to instruct our kolien pitiful receptionist to do chores for him. If you want to ask someone to make a phone call for you, please ask nicely la, don't have to scream as if you got fuck by a horse! Mch, damn annoying hearing this sohai raise his voice everytime. Really disturb the peaceful atmosphere in the office. Also, when he talks on the phone, oh my, if people dont understand chinese sure they will think he is from a gang triad. Niabeh, talk also like someone owes him money from previous life. After every phone calls, he will slam the phone.

Sigh, assholes! Maipuki!!!

Also, some people hor, their limpeh send them to overseas hoping they will come back with a good command of english. But this guy hor, hahaha, his slang, his english is memang tarak people can challenge one. Damn keng one!!!! Too keng till everytime I hear it I laugh till I want to shit in my pants. Let me show you people some examples from his telephone conversation. He was calling up a client after seeing an advertisement of someone wanting to sell a piece of land at a rural area.

JL: Mrs Lim ar, I heard you have a leng for sale at Bau. Is it a big leng or small leng ar?
Client : ......
JL: How much are you selling your leng ar? Your leng got mountain one ar, or flat flat one? got bush one ar or got lots of grass one?
Client (getting aggitated): I beg your pardon?
JL: Your leng la, got mountain or flat one. You advertise your leng in the newspaper rite?
Client: ....... and slams down the phone!
JL: Mcb, si beh bo ka si! (slams down the phone)

For those of you who don't understand hokkien, here's some of the translation:

leng = breast
si beh bo ka si = damn rude

You see, keng or not his pronounciation!!! Damn pro leh, graduated from Australia summore! DAMN MEMALUKAN!!!! Then this sohai go around telling everyone that the client is damn rude. You tell me who is wrong here?

Wah piang eh, pengsan la this kind of people. Not only land pronounce as "breast" but his other pronounciation also damn broken one. Here, I'll show you:

6 = Sis
8 = Egg
1 = Wang
0 = Giro
5 = Fai
Fax = Face
Problem = Pobem
Want = Wang

Let me show you some funny examples from this sohai.

016-8881986 = giro wang sis, egg egg egg, wang nine'g' egg sis

JL: Suria (my office receptionist)!!! Keng u face tis number now? Giro wang sis, egg egg egg, wang nine'g' egg sis. Do it now!!! Urgen'g'!!!

NIABEH LA YOU!!!!!!!!

Sigh...it's really sien having this type of people as a colleague!