Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Sohai at my Workplace!!!

Well, I love my cubicle at my workplace. It's cosy, air-cond damn cold, very secluded and hidden from anyone spying on me when I'm doing some "non-work" related stuff. My computer also quite canggih one, but the only drawback is tarak sound one la. Why no sound? Cos my sohai boss don't like people to listen to music during work time! Zzzz.... It doesn't bother me cos i got my trustworthy Ipod with me :p

Normally at work I'm a very nice person one. I don't scold or curse people one. But, got 1 bugger really piss me off, EVERYDAY!!! Let me tell you about this sohai!

This jackass hor, let's just call him JL la, is a chinese, graduated from Australia. I heard he stayed in Australia for 5 years before coming back to Malaysia. Well, he is my senior as he work 2 years earlier than me. Btw, this guy is a Foochow. Those of you who know me well will surely know that I'm very sceptical about Foochows. They give me bad impression! Hahaha, sorry, no offence to any foochow readers ya.

Ok, this JL hor, when he reach his cubicle which is only next to mine, he love to throw his bag, keys and whatever shit he is bringing on his table with a loud bang. This really pisses me off every morning. Knn, chit cha pek cha oredi cha si nang (early morning oredi bother people)! Diu la!!!!

I just tahan only. Next, this sohai is not fat. He looks very fit. But, he loves to FART!!!!! Pam Pui!!!! Knn la, fart fart fart early morning and throughout the whole day non stop pam pui. Walau eh, dunno what shit this sohai is eating everyday. Humans have a natural instinct to avoid smelling when people fart. And being the normal guy that I am, I cover my nose la. Well, after the coast is clear, this asshole farts again! Niabeh la, kah cheng kang condemn hia (asshole condemn)!!! Really piss me off each time this sohai fart, so sometimes bo pien I have to move away to a safer place la like the pantry room or the conference room.

Next crime, this sohai has the same rank as me. Well, in my office, there's only 2 ranks nia. Tauke and kuli only. So we are both kuli. I hate it when people bully the weak. This sohai likes to instruct our kolien pitiful receptionist to do chores for him. If you want to ask someone to make a phone call for you, please ask nicely la, don't have to scream as if you got fuck by a horse! Mch, damn annoying hearing this sohai raise his voice everytime. Really disturb the peaceful atmosphere in the office. Also, when he talks on the phone, oh my, if people dont understand chinese sure they will think he is from a gang triad. Niabeh, talk also like someone owes him money from previous life. After every phone calls, he will slam the phone.

Sigh, assholes! Maipuki!!!

Also, some people hor, their limpeh send them to overseas hoping they will come back with a good command of english. But this guy hor, hahaha, his slang, his english is memang tarak people can challenge one. Damn keng one!!!! Too keng till everytime I hear it I laugh till I want to shit in my pants. Let me show you people some examples from his telephone conversation. He was calling up a client after seeing an advertisement of someone wanting to sell a piece of land at a rural area.

JL: Mrs Lim ar, I heard you have a leng for sale at Bau. Is it a big leng or small leng ar?
Client : ......
JL: How much are you selling your leng ar? Your leng got mountain one ar, or flat flat one? got bush one ar or got lots of grass one?
Client (getting aggitated): I beg your pardon?
JL: Your leng la, got mountain or flat one. You advertise your leng in the newspaper rite?
Client: ....... and slams down the phone!
JL: Mcb, si beh bo ka si! (slams down the phone)

For those of you who don't understand hokkien, here's some of the translation:

leng = breast
si beh bo ka si = damn rude

You see, keng or not his pronounciation!!! Damn pro leh, graduated from Australia summore! DAMN MEMALUKAN!!!! Then this sohai go around telling everyone that the client is damn rude. You tell me who is wrong here?

Wah piang eh, pengsan la this kind of people. Not only land pronounce as "breast" but his other pronounciation also damn broken one. Here, I'll show you:

6 = Sis
8 = Egg
1 = Wang
0 = Giro
5 = Fai
Fax = Face
Problem = Pobem
Want = Wang

Let me show you some funny examples from this sohai.

016-8881986 = giro wang sis, egg egg egg, wang nine'g' egg sis

JL: Suria (my office receptionist)!!! Keng u face tis number now? Giro wang sis, egg egg egg, wang nine'g' egg sis. Do it now!!! Urgen'g'!!!

NIABEH LA YOU!!!!!!!!

Sigh...it's really sien having this type of people as a colleague!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Early 2009 Ranting (Part 2)

Well, I'm supposed to post this before Part 1 but who cares anyway, it still happens in 2009.

This happened on the 11th January 2009, 2 days before I went for my KL trip. Yeah, it was Sunday and I was in my office alone "working". Was busy pumping my kns kwc stats. Connection was damn fast as I'm able to pump like 1 million stats every 3 minutes. Hmm, I might be able to catch up to those top 3 players from MHH after all.

I came to office around 9.00 am and left my office at 6.00 pm. It has been raining the whole day, non-stop and I never expected "the unexpected" to happened. So, let me show you some "wtf" pictures.



OUMAIKOT!!!!!!!!!!! NIAMA MCH MCB %&#%^*^#*(#$^%$&@!!!!!

I was speechless. I still have a dinner tonight at 7.00 pm and my car is stuck in the flood.

Sigh........

Damn, the flood water already too high, can't even drive away. Knn!!!!!

Opposite my office i can even see some kampung kids playing in the water till I heard some shrieking from them: "BIAWAK"!!!!!!!! Then all of them jump out of the water. Zzzz....I was expecting them to shout "BUAYA" which will be more interesting. Lol.

Going back to my car, I called my boss, ask him to use his 4WD to come and rescue me from the shithole! When he come and rescue me, I put on an innocent face la. And he was sorry for me cos my car kena flood because of my "innitiative" to come to "work" on Sunday! Hahaha, he even promise to help me pay the bills for the repair! :p

Still, after repair, my car still stinks and you'll be surprised what I found inside my car.

Snails, milipedes, centipedes, spiders and lots and lots of mud! Sheeesh!!!

Sigh.....year 2009, damn you!!!!

Early 2009 Ranting (Part 1)

Wow, 2 post in 1 day, I must be damn bored! lol...

It’s been ages since I’ve updated this blog cos I thought no sohai will read my ranting. Lol.

After some “avid readers” msn me asking me when I’ll updated it, I decided to just blurt out some of my ranting la.

Well, I tell a lot of people that 2008 is a crappy year. Well, now it’s already March and I have to say this: “2009 is as shitty as 2008”. Sigh…..

After my KL trip and back into my normal lifestyle here in Kuching, lots and lots of shitty things happened la.

Hmm, where should I start. Hahaha, ok. Last month, the most shittiest thing happened to me. Really maichauhai one. I was driving with my colleague to an inspection somewhere in the rural area of Kuching. Halfway through, there was a road block by the police. If you didn’t do anything wrong you have nothing to be scared of la, bu for me, I was kinda afraid. Ok la, I was really afraid cos I did something wrong. Hahaha, well, we’ll get into it soon. When we drove to the road block, the police was jus checking on my road tax and ask me to move on. I was kinda relieved and there was a smirk on my face after we were let through.

So, I finished my inspection and was heading back to Kuching town. And on the way I can see that the road block is still going on. Well, I thought nothing will happened as I just passed the road block check a while ago. Mana tahu that sohai police ask me to stop. I wind down my window and he asked me for my driving license. My colleague was just sitting next to me. This is our conversation:

Colleague: Aiya, he check driving license only, no problem one la.
Me : Erm, my driving license expired liaw.
Colleague: Wtf, why you didn’t renew it. You forgot about it ar?
Me: Nope, I know when it expired. Soli la, lazy mah, no time mah.
Colleague: Sigh. Die liaw lor. That police also kns one, so free go saman people. Driving license expired only mah.
Me: Ermm, rite.

So the police go and jot down my car plate number and pass me the saman. I pass the saman to my colleague and this is his reaction:

Colleague: Sigh, knn police.
(Then he stares at the saman and he had the shock of his life”
Colleague: Wah piang eh, you hor, you really deserve to kena saman. Your driving license fucking expired on July 2008.
Me: ……..

There you have it, my 1st saman for year 2009. Mcb #%#$^%#*&^*(&$Q342^*&^.

KWC Round 3 Finish Liaw!!!

Hmmm, today I wanna talk bad a bit about Kuwakchai la since it has ended last Sunday.

The Round 3 of Kuwakchai has just ended last Sunday. I was not around to participate to see the outcome of it. So, I don't know who kill me la. Hahaha, actually much better if I didn't see who kill me or else later I will revenge on them next round, which is not good.

Now trying to be a good boy and control my anger from overflowing. Anyway, a new round will start soon la in about 4-5 more days.

Before that, I would like to congratulate to the 3 winners of this round.

1. Honda
2. Silber
3. Smalee aka Frankenstein

If the 3 of you are reading this, I want to sincerely congratulate you for winning this round. You guys put in the most effort la, so you 3 earn the title to be the winners for Round 3 :p. You guys deserve it!!! A big applause to the 3 of you!

So, Round 3 already over, life macam very sien at the moment lor. Cannot press F5 button, cannot whack people, go forum also so lazy. Sigh.....

Spoke to my member Yappy this morning, he also damn kaw sien, cos cannot whack people. Lol. Really KWC addict already, cannot cure liaw. Ask me to send him 5k points summore.

Well, I have to admit it, without KWC, my life also very bored leh. Dunno how to tangkap ular during work. Sigh.... Masuk Internet only check mail, dunno what else to do. Sien.....

Dunno whether I'll be playing seriously next round or not cos 2 of my best pal might not be playing. One of them, Kuok, definitely not playing already. Another one, Sim, "might" not be playing also. So, not much hengtai to play with a bit sien. But I still have to play la, cos I got my obligation as an Assistant to help players. Sked if I want to play seriously later have to spend a lot. Ya, become a top player in this game is NOT cheap. The agony.......the puer torture of spending lots and lots of money to buy points and new donator package.

Money is one thing, the other problem when playing this KWC is time. Being a top player means have to spend countless night upping your stats and make sure you are at the top. Very sien leh, go out lim teh also sked people overtake you. A bit paranoid already lor. Sigh.....

Also, Round 3 is damn boooooooring! Nothing much to do for me except bailing people and answering player's questions (which is fun btw). The Jahat stuff is not interesting enough. The keng jahat stuff is to hard even for Lvl 100 Honda to accomplished. Sien.........

So, will I play again next round? My answer is "YES"!!!!! Cannot cure liaw, KWC is already a part of my life. Hahaha, well, I'll just play for fun at the start la till some sohai come and provoke me to play seriously like last round.

Anyway, nothing much to talk about lor, haven't updated this blog in ages. Kena hantam by some people for not updating it, so I just scribble some crap which you people are reading lor!!!

Chow......

Sunday, January 18, 2009

2009 Ranting!

Well, it's been a while since I post something, so I might as well post some crap here la.

I just got back from KL to meet some KWC hengtais and it's really a pleasure meeting them. Manage to meet some of my gang members as well as some of the bugs that keep harassing me inside the game :p

So, what have I've been doing at KL? Well, there's only one word for it : WALKING!!! Wtf, it's really a pin in the ass to walk whole day in different partsof shopping centres in KL. Nothing much really, most of them offer the same stuff la. From clothing to books to toys to restaurants. One thing I learn frm KL is that food cost a bomb compared to Kuching. Knn, 1 day have to allocate at least RM50 just for food, assuming it's the cheapest food summore. RM50 can last me for a week in Kuching when eating outside. So people, if you wanna go jalan-jalan cari makan, make sure you are loaded or expect to eat lots of mamak food or hawker food.

Day 1 I manage to go to Kajang to have some Satays with some of the kwc members which are King Piggy, Persephone, Yappy, Akilah and Mortuary. Well, I was in shocked when I want to pay the bills. The cheapest satay cost a frigging RM1.20 per stick! WTF, in Kuching the most expensive satay is only RM0.50 - RM0.60 the most. Well, if that's not bad, we order without looking at the prices. We order rabbit satay (taste ok nia), beef satay (damn hard), chicken satay (this one ok la), deer satay (lame) and lamb satay (also lame). The only good thing nice about it are the sauce lor. Here, they mix it with Sambal which is kinda new for me la. What a dissapointment. If I have a chance to go again for sure I will say "NO", unless some people belanja la.

Day 2 was bored also lor. Everyday walk till my leg almost break. Manage to watch a movie at GSC titled Outlander. It was ok only la. Night time I mange to hang around with Yappy, King Piggy and Pookyma at an Indian restaurant. I ordered a Roti Kosong and Ice Lemon Tea. It was a pleasure meeting Pookyma in person as I've always wanted to meet this sohai. Hahaha, this guy hor, I only thought he's only vulgar in online. Mana tahu when he speak out of 10 words 8 of it is cursing. Hahahaha, really fun meeting you bro :p

Day 3 is our ex AKS gathering at Yappy's house. The players joining us that night are myself, Squidy (yes, Round 2 winner of KWC), Pookyma, King Piggy, Mortuary & gf, Fulamak, Isaac89 and Akilah. We really had fun at Yappy's house la as his hospitality is really top notch! Me and Pookyma even drink till we are drunk after Squidy left the party cos we are afraid of her raping us that night :p Hahaha, no offense Squidy! We had Tiger beers, Jack Daniels, some Red Wine and Baccardi. For the food we had some nice fried bee hoon cooked by Yappy's wife, BBQ chicken, lamb and beef. It was a fun night la as we talk trash and backstabs some KWC sohais. Again, I have to thank Yappy for sending me and some of us back to our place lor. If not I think I'll have to sleep with his dog as I'm too drunk to even walked properly.

Day 4 started off with me and King Piggy and Pookyma shopping around Pavillion. I think we manage to walk though Pavillion for almost 10 times. Damn bored. We went back to my hotel to take a rest before we meet up with the others at Carlos around 7pm. The one attending are Sang Kai, Wingz, Chan Ho Nam, Shinka, Yappy, Pookyma, King Piggy, Mortuary & gf and Persephone. It's an honour meeting you people! Wingz was damn hilarious as always, CHN and Sang Kai are both damn cool, Shinka is damn talkative as always and Persephone is just sitting there giggling all the while. One thing I have to bitch is that the food at Carlos sucks. Hahaha, sorry people, but it was not my taste lah. I prefer a more ambient environment like Dome. Well, hopefully we can meet up again other time lor. Good thing about this gathering is that I mange to dig out some game info from Wingz himself. Mwuahahaha.......

The last day at KL I went out with my bro and his friend bringing us to Petaling Jaya area. We visited One Utama, Atria and the new Tropicana shopping complex. Well, my comment : LAME!!!!!!!!!!! What a boring place to go! Hahaha, i still prefer Bukit bintang area shopping complexes.

Going back was like hell. The air pressure from the flight was damn annoying as it keep poking my ear drum to the extend that it will explode anytime. Damn sien and I was not feeling well that time also. Maybe dehydrated also. Sigh...

Anyway, now Im back in Kuching, feeling damn sick now. Flu, fever, sneeze, sore throat, headache, all super combo. Mch one! then have to come back to work sumore. Sigh....

Well, that's all for now. I'll post some of the pics that I took from the gathering here soon!